...chocolate air...

costumage.

Here it is, just a few days into November, and I'm already posting Halloween pictures! I am really on the ball. And for the love of flashbacks (or severe procrastination), I'll also share photos from the last couple of years.

Zach 2010 (Swamp Monster)

This was the first store-bought costume he ever picked out, incidentally (we were kinda busy around that time...), and he was so excited about it.

Zach 2011 (Cloaked Skeleton)

Zach 2012 (Vampire)

Can you tell we're on a kinda-creepy-costume kick?

Jem and Scout 2010 (Bear and Bunny)

Handmade hats we already had, matching jumpers, cute little animal noses. Adorable... and all I could manage at the time. A far cry simpler than the circus strongman and tightrope walker outfits I was dying to make for them.

Jem 2011 (Cowboy)

Scout 2011 (Indian)

Jem and Scout 2012 (Hansel and Gretel)

Imagine two curly blonde heads with goofy grins and big blue eyes. The kids are way cuter than their costumes.

Mike and Amy 2012

And ummm... here's us. Mike's a rock star, of course. And me? I'm his groupie.

You can't really see my zebra miniskirt and purple skinny jeans here. You're welcome.

I'm wearing this image on my shirt.

(Because he totally does.)

I'm not a stalker, folks. Just a fan, just a fan.

hello again.

Still here! It seems like our little family has been drawn inward for the last couple of years, and I've spent less time with friends, whether in person or online. But I miss my blog. I miss those of you who might still check this space occasionally to see if we're alive and well. And we are!

Some quick updates are in order, I suppose. Our Zach is now eleven. He's loving being a boy scout and all that goes with it. I'm not sure who authorized him to grow to 5'7" and start speaking with a man's voice, but we sure are proud of how much he's growing up.

Our sweet twins are still with us. As I type, Jem is pulling all our books off the shelves, and Scout is emptying my spice cabinet. This photo from last year pretty much sums up the life we're living. I clean it; they destroy it. But we are just grateful for every day they get to spend with us.

I have pretty much spent all my time wrapped up in family. My hours are mostly taken up caring for two-year-olds, teaching my son, and trying to keep up with the house. A never-ending and somewhat losing battle many days, but I battle on regardless, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

faq. please read.

Congratulations! Are you guys excited?

Thank you! Yes, very. And fairly overwhelmed, too.This is a baptism by fire into the foster care system, and into the world of newborns again.

Are you sleeping at all?

No. No, we are not. And yet miraculously, I am functioning just about as well on two or three hours of sleep now, as I was on the eight hours I was getting before the babies came.

What are their names?

Out of respect for the little ones and their birth family, we won't be sharing those here on the web. I'll be calling the boy "Jem" and the girl "Scout" here on the blog. Rest assured, they do have real names in real life.

I want to see pictures of their sweet little faces! Where are they?

Again, I wish I could share, but foster children need extra precautions taken, so you won't see them here. Family members and friends... please be sure I have your email address so I can make photos available to you.

What's the deal with the birth family? Why are these children with you? And how long will they be with you?

Honestly, we know very little so far. And once we do, we will not be able to discuss it. I hope you'll understand our need to protect the privacy of the babies and their family. As for the length of time... we have no idea at all.

Is there a possibility that you'll be able to adopt these little guys?

There is always that possibilty, although somewhat remote, and we would if that were offered to us. But we are not even going there right now. These children have parents, and we respect that. I can't and won't try to wish the twins away from them. Coveting your neighbor's child has got to be pretty high up on the list of no-nos, right? But we love them, and we'll take it a day at a time.

Won't it be hard when they leave you?

Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. But I would still choose to do this, even so.

How is Zach handling all this?

Amazingly well. That kid has really stepped up to the plate, and I am so proud of him.

You're loving this, aren't you?

You have no idea.  ♥

i'm back... with news.

So on the fostering front... after many delays working with the state to get our foster license squared away, our caseworker essentially blew us off, due to the terrible understaffing there. So we ended up transferring to a private agency after all, and they got to work helping us right away.

We got home from vacation a couple of weeks ago, and our license showed up in the mail that day. A few days after that, we got a call for a placement, which we accepted.

It's a boy!

And a girl!

Twins. Brand new. If weighed together they tipped the scale at all of eight pounds.

They are adorable and hilarious and we are in love with them.

a perfect kind of day.

Yesterday was a nice day of play, from one end to the other. We started off at an archaeological fair at the site of a huge American Indian civilization that was right here around 1000 years ago. Way fun. Zach learned to make arrowheads, throw spears, classify bones, and play Native American games of all kinds. A boy's dream, essentially.

We headed home, where he spent the whole afternoon with some cousins and friends... slipping and sliding and turning the yard into a swamp.

And then we ended the day at a picnic with members of our church, where we ate good food and enjoyed an all-ages softball game. My guys did great! (Although as catcher, my boy might have had more success had he turned his mitt around. And maybe not worn flip-flops.) And I was more than happy to be the photographer/cheerleader/water-girl for them.

Aaahh... a weekend just as it should be.

 

one of the crazy things i do.

Year after year, for a week out of the summer, this is where you'll find me. Our church holds a camp for girls age 12-18. I always loved it when I was younger, and... I still do.

It's really fun to be with the girls, through the singing and games, the hysterical late-night giggling, the hard work and the bugs, the drama of 100 teenage girls and their little spats, the hugs and tears when they apologize, and the quiet moments when we are all drawn a little closer to God.

Good times, people. Good times.

 

camp with the cubbies.

I've spent the week at Cub Scout day camp. A few items of note:

1. I'm pretty proud of these caps I made for the boys. They cost me a grand total of $1.40 each, and I love how they came out, even if the colors did bleed a little under the boys' abuse. The dots were drawn on with colored Sharpies, and the designs are ironed on. If any of you are Cub Scout leaders and would like me to send you the file for the iron-ons, send me an email or leave a comment here with your email address, and I'll shoot it your way.

 

2. It was 95 degrees out there all week. I've got the scalding to prove it.

 

3. Boys are goobers. But ya gotta love 'em.

curses.

Foiled again!

 

Seriously?! This whole process of trying to adopt/foster has been three steps forward, two steps back. Sometimes three or four steps back. Or five. You would think I'd be used to it by now, but no... I'm an optimist, I'm afraid. Which means hope springs eternal, but is punctuated repeatedly with short periods of heartbreak when everything goes wrong.

I finally got hold of our licensing worker at DCFS, after months of not being able to reach her because she was on leave, in a conference, etc. And she basically told me that they were not going to be doing any new licensing for quite a while due to understaffing. She suggested transferring to a private agency. Square one. Or at least it feels that way.

After I had a little anxiety attack, I remembered that we had talked to one caseworker who had seemed quite helpful, and I called him. And bless his heart... he's advocating for us. (Something about how he was going to send some emails and irritate some people.) He's not sure what the response will be, but will let us know what comes up.

So the bottomline is... we're currently in limbo. Again. We may or may not have any shot at fostering this year.

Sometimes I feel like this whole process is turning me into a much stronger person. And other times I think it's just going to turn me into a quivering mass of jello. The jury's still out...

home.

I love words. I mean, I really really love words.

So when I had seen an idea here and there in the blogosphere to leave behind the usual lists of resolutions, and instead to choose a single word or phrase to focus on for the new year... I was hooked. And I knew immediately what my word would be. I have already been gravitating toward it for months.

Home.

 

This focus for me means:

• making a home with more warmth and reverence
• creating more that is homemade... craft, clothing, food, etc.
• maintaining a clean, simple, and organized home
• enjoying and improving on our path of home education
• and with any luck, giving a loving home to more children.

It is all of this, and so much more. Essentially I want to make decisions this year based on how they will affect the spirit of my home, and how they will affect those around me.

And now I am going to say the word "home" a few more times, beacause I don't think it's been used enough in this blogpost. Home, home, home, home, home. There. That's better.

A very happy 2010 to you... and to all of us.

in case you are wondering.

The Christmas letter project was a success. It was lovely seeing all those sweet thoughts written out and placed on the tree at my parents' house. I really, really loved reading the ones addressed to me.

In case you are also wondering... no, I didn't get all my letters written in time for Christmas. I still have a few to write, as a matter of fact. Did anyone expect anything different?

Oy.

dear so-and-so.

So a month or two ago I presented my family with an idea that had been stirring around in my brain for a while now. As I was clearing out all the things in my house, I thought, "As thrilling as it is to get nice gifts... I already have everything I need (and oh-so-much more!)." Now my family never goes too crazy at Christmas to begin with, to tell the truth. We don't try to outdo anyone or feel that children need mountains of toys in order to be happy. We have always exchanged names among the adults, and sometimes we even stuck to that. I love Christmas with my family! But I was feeling like that maybe we could do something more, something better.

 

So this year, the adults on my side of the family will not be exchanging gifts. (Bah, humbug... right?) But... we've decided to exchange letters instead. Each of us will write some sort of heartfelt thoughts to each other member of the family. These letters can be short or long, sentimental or funny, handwritten or typed. They can include drawings, photos, poetry, limericks, bad jokes... anything. Or just a quick "so glad you're in our family". As long as it is sincere.

We'll hand out these letters when we get together at Christmas (and mail them to my brother and nephew on missions). And I am stoked! Seriously.

We'll try different things other years, if all goes well. I would love for each year to end with us knowing each other a little better, and having some sort of family keepsake put together. Some other ideas: an ornament swap, put together a family cookbook, a service exchange, photographs for a family album, etc. I thought one year we could each write up our personal history, with their own information and memories, which we would copy and bind for each family group.

Zach and I wrote our first letters today (Thanks, Ollie!), and I have to say... I enjoyed it a little too much. I did a little rhyming today and ended up giggling like crazy.

If anyone has any other thoughts on creating family keepsakes/memories... I'm all ears. Just hit that comment button below. Thaaat's right... tap that little button and let's hear what you have to say!

reality check.

Today was one of those days that makes it to the blog. Today there was bread baking, there was knitting, there was music playing, there was organizing of some dark and crowded corners I usually avoid. Today there was singing. And a little boy with scriptures in hand, wanting to know more. Today was a beautiful day.

 

But...

A friend of mine told me the other day that she used to read my blog, but then stopped somewhere along the way. When asked why, she said that my life was too cool, and it made her feel bad about her own life. (I know, I know... people who know me well are laughing right now, probably with tears streaming down their faces... but that's really what she said!)

Oh, C... I have obviously failed you. Yes, I have beautiful days... sometimes. And funny goings-on... sometimes. And even the occasional completed craft project, if I'm really lucky. And yes... I am a whiz at framing my photographs to focus on the beauty and cut out the clutter of everyday life. But I really ought to be better at leaving some of that clutter in.

Because all too often there are days in which the dishes aren't done and the floor needs sweeping and the cat just threw up. Again. And I've spent too much money on stuff I don't even want and my son chooses to spend most of the day in his underwear because he hates sleeves. And pant legs. And conforming to society. And my husband gets home at the end of the day, and as I give him a kiss all I can think is, "I really should have brushed my hair before now."

That's life. All of us (all of us!!) experience the good, the bad, and the ugly. I just choose to leave most of the ugly behind.

the patch.

So we made our annual trek to the farm to get our pumpkins. This year the trip was especially important, as the pumpkins pretty much constitute our entire fall decorating... I don't fancy risking life and limb trying to dig our autumn box out of the downstairs closet anytime soon.

The highlight for Zach is always the animals. The child needs a farm (or a zoo) of his own.

"I can carry this one," he says, picking up this 30-pounder. And he did. For about 20 seconds.

Then he hefted this 16-pounder back to the wagon. And was tired when he got there. But much happier than he appears in this photograph.

It was rather a windy day. In your comments, I'd prefer terms like "sexy" and "windblown"... over phrases such as "tangled" and "blurry" and "what-kind-of-rodent-has-taken-up-residence-in-your-hair". Thank you for your kind consideration.

 

part two: the other stuff.

One great thing we saw (but I wasn't allowed to photograph...wah) was the National Quilt Museum. It was awesome! I can't get over the creativity and craftsmanship of some people. Mike tolerated the museum quite well. And Zachary...well... although he claims to have enjoyed it, he did spend an inordinate amount of time rolling around on the floor groaning, "Exit...exit...exit!"

But there was certainly plenty for the boys to enjoy on our vacation as well.

We observed marine life up close:

 

 We saw war vehicles. We saw A LOT of war vehicles:

 

 

And various other unusual vehicles as well:

  

We experienced crafts and trades of the 1800s:

We saw Orlando Bloom:

(Okay, not really, but doesn't he look like him? Close enough.) 

There are of course a lot more photos, but as I doubt anyone is reading even this far... I'll spare you.

love, amy.

Dear Facebook,

I hate you. For years I've been trying to avoid you, with your preteen quizzes and cyberworlds and flashing ads. But you do allow me to spy with ease on people from my past... and so you are sucking me in. Blast you.

Dear Virus of Death,

I loathe you. Quit trying to kill my computer. Seriously.

Dear Mike,

I love you. Thanks for being my computer hero, as always. If you were on Facebook, I'd send you a request to be my friend. But as it is, I'll stick to being...

Yours forever,

Amy

part one: the beach.

Okay, the vacation was a week long, so I had to split this post up a bit. Today I'll share our beach adventures. We spent a few days on St. George Island in Florida, so I got to relax and play Gidget for a while. So fun.

1. My fearless outdoorsy boy heading into the waves. He wanted to spend every moment in the water. (Click on this one to make it bigger. I LOVE this image!)

2. His favorite activity was letting the waves crash into him and knock him down. If they weren't big enough, he knocked himself down.

3. In front of the house we stayed in, right on the beach. That was awesome.

4. The sunset view, obviously. No, nothing is on fire.

5. Mike, blinded by the light, watching Zach's first venture into the ocean.

6. We were trying to stay dry that morning going shelling, but the ocean kept calling Zach's name.

7. And he kept answering the call.

8. Observing hermit crabs we found.

9. Our Family Home Evening lesson was about building our "house on the rock".

 

10. Heading back to the house for the morning.

11. A sunset view from our backyard.

Stay tuned for a quick summary of what we did in the other seven(!) states we passed through.

back home.

Very few people even knew we were gone, and now we're home...sunburned and happy.

More later, after the unpacking and the laundry and the getting life back in relative order.

 

a happy event.

"The event had every promise of happiness for her friend. He was a man of exceptional character, easy fortune, suitable age, and pleasant manners...

She had been a friend and companion such as few possessed: intelligent, well-informed, useful, gentle; one to whom she could speak every thought as it arose."

 
 
 

(Anyone recognize the quote? Hint: Later in the book someone asks about the wedding, "Who cried most?" Incidentally, the answer to that question would, without a doubt, be me. I was grateful to have the lens to hide behind.)

Lynne... Tim... wishing you so very happy.

really old projects.

A friend of mine was asking this week for some advice on art supplies for her artistic young daughter, and it got me thinking. File this under the category of "things I used to do in another life". When I was in high school, that is.

I'm kind of getting the itch to pick up a pencil again. Or watercolors, perhaps. Or pen and ink. Or... something. Hmmm.

cubby.

So, being a big eight-year-old has its responsibilities, but it also has its perks. And for this curious, sweet, enthusiastic, helpful, outdoorsy kid... cub scouts is a huge perk. Seriously, this boy was born to be a scout.

He has been going all out... studying the manual on his own, asking to do the activities, and passing off requirements like nobody's business. I'm loving it, too, because it all fits in beautifully with our homeschooling, our family nights, and well... just our life. I'm actually one of his den leaders, and I'll admit I was reluctant about it. Boys still confuse me, you see. But I'm having loads of fun with it, after all.

A few photos from back in his first week of scouting, which happened to include day camp...

(Isn't he cute?!)