I hate you. For years I've been trying to avoid you, with your preteen quizzes and cyberworlds and flashing ads. But you do allow me to spy with ease on people from my past... and so you are sucking me in. Blast you.
Dear Virus of Death,
I loathe you. Quit trying to kill my computer. Seriously.
I love you. Thanks for being my computer hero, as always. If you were on Facebook, I'd send you a request to be my friend. But as it is, I'll stick to being...